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So Saturday, we played the second part of Car Wars – Convoy.  Mike ran it, and it was a lot of fun.  As before, the maturity level at the table undermined much of what Mike had planned for us.  We really only got into a couple of battles, one of which was resolved pretty quickly.

In one case, we were headed down the highway, with everyone in the group occasionally humming, singing, or quoting parts of the “Convoy” song from the 1970’s or “Eastbound and Down” from Smokey and the Bandit.  We had three encounters, well, four counting Mike’s little gotcha.

Heading south to the truck stop, we were coming up on 4 AM, and saw 10 headlights in the rear view mirror.  Preety soon 10 headlights became 20, then 30, then 40, and pretty soon we were convinced that it was over 50 headlights.  They were slowly gaining on us.  We decided to speed up, to see if they continued to gain on us.  They didn’t.  We kept up the higher speed all the way to the truck stop.

Image result for motorcycle gang

Now, Mike actually said that he was happy that he didn’t have to set up that encounter.  He wasn’t sure how he was going to deal with that many bad guys.

We stopped at a truck stop, on the final leg to Nashville.  We fueled up, and went south.  I paid $50 for a $10 map to get some intel, but that didn’t work.  Besides that, the truck stop had Jethro and Cletus working the pumps, so it took three times as long to fuel as normal, and along with that, they charged us double.  I guess those old Duke Boys really got it over on them Yankees.

We left, cruising down the road at 50 mph.  You see, 50 was the sweet spot  With our overall tires, the drivers skill, etc, 50 mph was a good speed, because we could dodge the stuff in the road negating any tire damage from debris on the road.  All of us in the convoy could easily recover from any movement penalties, and if the road was open, we could make it to Nashville on time.

What we didn’t count on is 30 miles south of the truck stop, it was raining hard, and the freeway bridge had been wiped out.  We had to turn back, and go the long way.  We were now officially screwed.  We need to get it up to 80 mph, which causes all sorts of problems, because we couldn’t swerve to miss the debris in the road, causing tire damage as a death by a thousand cuts.

We had a bunch of nuisance encounters with debris on the road.  Gavin didn’t understand the important points of getting good tires, and he had standard tires.  That didn’t work so well for him.  His tires had 4 hit points only, so he ended up needing to leave his vehicle behind.  You can’t drive a car with only two tires.  We pushed his car off the road, hoping that if it was far enough off the road, nobody would see it or mess with it.

The first encounter involved a couple of Tennessee yokels pulled a tractor trailer across the highway, trying to get us to stop.  Eric and I pulled up in front of the convoy, and drive side by side to ram the trailer.  We each shot the trailer with recoilless rifles twice as we approached, then rammed through.  We were hoping for some Hollywood style special effects, but no, it was a decrepit old trailer.  At least Bubba and Billy-Joe-Jim-Bob will need to get a new trailer.

Then as we continued on, we drive under an overpass, and two guys jumped onto the trailer of the semi, and started trying to take over.  It went pretty well.  Gavin’s lost vehicle resulted in one of his gunners going into Eric’s vehicle, since Gavin’s gunner’s skill was better than Eric’s gunner.  Eric’s extra gunner rode on top of the trailer.  The two bad guys dropped onto the trailer, and Eric’s gunner shot at them.  The gun battle was short, and both bad guys were killed.  Eric’s gunner was shot, but still had two health, so he wasn’t unconscious.

We fueled up again, and then headed out again.  We had to hold a sped of 70 mph to make it to Nashville, no more than one hour late.  As we approached Nashville,  we observed a helicopter above the road.  Cautious, we radioed ahead, and it turned out that it was a news helicopter, and wasn’t interested in a fight.

Then, 20 miles from Nashville we got a radio call.  We were boxed in, and these people wanted us to walk away from our truck with our vehicles, and give us $25,000 for the truck and trailer.  No dice  We tried to talk them up to a higher value, but then they closed in for the attack.

This is where Mike needs to have his dice segregated out for shaming, as I previously posted.

The battle was pretty nasty.  We laid out a phalanx of mines and spikes for the two rear vehicles to deal with.  I was in front with a large van that included a heavy laser.  It was doing a pretty good job of cutting through my front armor, but my dual linked recoilless rifles ended up doing more damage to them.

The rear baddies ended up driving over mines and spikes with totaled one of them.  The other managed to pop off a few rounds at Eric’s car, who took the damage.  This is where we learned the benefits of placing a large solid tire in the trunk.  The one moving rear baddie ended up shooting completely through Eric’s armor, and ended up damaging Eric’s spare tire before the baddie died.

Roy’s car did exactly what it was supposed to do.  Every time he fired his rear facing main gun, he also laid out a huge cloud of smoke.  The smoke was nice because it stops lasers, makes it harder to aim through, and blocks the view of the mines and spikes. Roy was in front of Eric.  Roy would shoot and leave a cloud of smoke, then Eric would poop out mines, and the bad buys would drive through the mines.

I was having my own fun with the van.  Between me shooting it in the rear with the two recoilless rifles, and some bad driving, the van stopped, and I raced up on it.  I nailed the brakes, and shot the recoilless rifles into its side, which pretty well hurt it, but didn’t kill it.  The side armor was damaged, but not destroyed.

My plan was to shoot six rockets from my side directly into it as I drove by.  I needed to roll a 5 or higher with two d6’s.  I rolled a 4.  The rockets went wild, and I drove on to Nashville.  At 60 mph,  by the time I stopped and turned around, the combat would have been over.

Sue drive directly through the back of the van, pulverizing it.

We were 45 minutes late delivering, so they deducted $5,000 from our $100,000 purse, but because we didn’t total the truck and trailer, they gave us an extra $3,000 per player bonus.

At that point, we cleaned up, and Shari, Colin and their daughter came by to play Toon with Mike and me.  That was insane.  I don’t even know how to describe it.  Two things that I did stand out for me.

First, I borrowed Shari’s portable hole, and I took my portable hole. I started by creating a portal effect by dropping stuff into the first portable hole, then holding the other portable hole above it, to watch things drop out of the top hole and go through the bottom hole over and over again.  That was fun, but then I took the top portable hole, turned it 90 degrees, and placed it into the first hole.

I wanted to see what Colin would do, as the animator.  He just stared at me.  The result was that the entire film of the Toon world stopped, burned up, and then the animator had to cut out sections of the film from before and after the apocalyptic event, and splice it back together.

The real tragedy was that the clipped out section of the film was our lunch break.  Now, being management at work, and the fact that Shari and Mike were both represented employees, it made kind of a zen sense, that my character insured that no one got their lunch break.

The other stand out part of the Toon game that I did was to shape change from a bag of pretzels into an enchilada.   But I botched the quick change roll, so I was partially a bag of pretzels and partially an enchilada, wearing a Dick Cheney mask, who started yelling orders through my megaphone as a Generalissimo, goose stepping around the construction site.

Now Sue wasn’t playing, she was observing.  Sue has a masters in social work, and I am sure that I just hit some large number of checkboxes on whatever form she used in her daily work…

Mike was playing a hermaphroditic baboon, who has ‘roid rage.  I make a fast talk roll to give him orders.  Mike agrees, and Bubbles the baboon starts doing what I tell him to do.  Long story short, Bubbles wants a medal, all I have is bottle caps, so I use my hammer to give Bubbles some Blood Wings.  I place the bottle cap on his chest, then hammer it into him.

Anyhow, the rest of the game was a blur.  I actually enjoy the free form of Toon.  I don’t think I could run it, but it is fun to play as an occasional game.

Also, I just got the books for War of The Dead, for Savage Worlds.  I talked with Eric, Mike and Sue, and they would be good with playing this.

War of the Dead is pretty darn cool.  It assumes that George Romero never made Night of the Living Dead.  No one knows anything about the walking dead.  The party must learn everything.

I will start running this soon. Very soon.