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So Mike and Sue came this weekend, but Shari and Collin were not here.  Eric was here also.  Mike and Sue had played Zombicide several years ago.  I think that Mike may have Kickstarted it.  But he hadn’t played it in several years, so we went through the learning scenario.

The goal was to go from one building to another and turn over the objective marker.  I played Rick Grimes… err Phil, who all night long shot like Barney Fife from Mayberry. If you look at the map below, most of the noise tokens were mine, showing how badly I rolled all afternoon.

The one thing going in our favor was that we won the first encounter.  That was about all that went in our favor.  We sucked eggs.  I mean I sucked eggs.  Rick… err Phil / Barney starts out with a pistol.  You would think that would be a good thing, right.  Nope.  I should have traded someone else my pistol for a pan.  I sucked on ice all freaking afternoon.

Anyhow, after playing the intro game scenario, we graduated onto episode 01.  Here is a shot of Sue facing off against a couple of deadites.

The deck was shuffled, and we all got awesome weapons early on.  We had shotguns, pistols, sawed off shotguns, and other good stuff.  We even got two Molotov cocktails.  That led us to kill lots of zombies.  That led to our demise.  It was fun, but….

So Eric was playing Wanda and ran across the board to clear out one room.  He was doing well at clearing out the building, and then… he searched.  And, Wanda found a zombie hiding under a bunch of rags.  Wanda searched the room as her final action.  That meant that the zombie popped up after Wanda was done, QED, 1 wound on the zombies turn.

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The finger in the picture is my attempt to show how I am an awesome photographer.

Outside the room where Wanda found a zombie was a large group of zombies in the street.  Wanda had a problem.  If she made noise, the zombies would enter the building, looking for chow.  The zombie was killed quietly, so he didn’t attract any attention from outside.

Then, somehow, I found a picture of dogs playing D&D.  I have seen this before, but I really like it.  Something about this piece of art speaks to me.  The babe in a chainmail bikini riding a unicorn on the picture.  The Mountain Dew on the table, and whatever the white bulldog is passing to the brown dog in the forefront.

Now, understand, I appreciate this picture for the pop art sense of it.  I don’t find things like Pugmire or the Baby Bestiary amusing.  In fact, I find them annoying.  Now, I can sort of appreciate the My Little Pony version of Pathfinder, Ponyfinder because it is kind of silly and farts in the face of convention.  I have no interest in playing it, but it is amusing in its own way.  Pugmire appears to be trying too hard.  The Baby Bestiary appears to be something just to the right of marshmallows.  Marshmallows are the most evil thing in the universe, as it is formed from the spewing asshole of Satan himself.  There is no such thing that is made from marshmallow, includes marshmallow or even hints at being marshmallow that should ever be allowed in a first world country.  Marshmallows should be fed to political prisoners as part of the reeducation campaign associated with getting them to change their belief system.

My brother used to buy Kraft marshmallow creme in a bottle and put it on ice cream.  He also liked Hostess snack cakes that had marshmallow on them.  There were snow balls, which I think were white, and some pink monstrosity, and another one that had a half inch of marshmallow between two chocolate cakes.

My wife and kids taunt me by buying Rocky Road iced cream.  Jesus Fucking Goddam Christ.  Marshmallow is evil.  There should be nothing allowed in this country.  Marshmallow is absolutelyfucknuggetlysonofabitchshitstack nasty.

I am not sure how I got from dogs playing poker to talking about how I hate marshmallows, but there are some things in this world which should have never been concocted.

dogs-playing-dd

Anyhow, Mike and Sue were busy eating healthy.  They had organic carrots, cashews and sunflower seeds.  I guess that is what is needed when you are spending the afternoon killing zombies and finding stuff.

The goal of this mission is to go to enough rooms and discover one rice, one water and one can of food.  That pretty quickly got changed to one bourbon, one scotch and one beer.  We need to get some blank cards and Photoshop some scotch, beer and bourbon onto them.

Anyhow, Sue an Mike are trying to figure out which move is less bad than the other.  You see, everyone wanted to kill lots of zombies.  Get up to get some more actions and such stuff.  The downside was that we all killed more zombies.

We couldn’t figure out how to clear out a room without making noise.  So we attracted zombies, even with Wanda on the other corner of the map.

And they kept coming.

This is where it started to get away from us.  We were well into the yellow, and had turned up the fourth objective marker.  We had to balance who turned over which objective marker, because every objective marker turned over resulted in 5 more experience points, which meant more of us moved from blue to yellow.  Yellow typically spawns more and nastier zombies.

At this point, it got away from us.  We were trying to figure out how to get out of this building.  Only one door.  Lots of zombies.  The empty room hasn’t been explored yet.

I shoot like Barney Fife, and nothing good happens.  Mike had died once by this point, and we put him sleeping in the tub in the, waiting to be awakened by a party member.  Eventually Sue came in, and woke up Mike.  I Barney Fife’d it again and retreated.

At this point, we had two molotov cocktails.  But we couldn’t get in to a position to use them without killing one of our own people.

I dropped my molotov cocktail at the end of my turn, Sue grabbed it, and then I was overrun.  That is me, lying under the runner.  Once again, I Barney Fife’d the rolls, and died horribly.

And the hordes keep rolling in.  We have made so much noise, that we are screwed.  Mike throws a Molotov cocktail into the room with zombies, and runs up into the orange.  Then Mike tries to get out.  Sue is slippery, so she is able to get out.  Mike isn’t slippery, so he doesn’t have enough actions to get out through the horde.

Mike is the all you can eat buffet at this point.  It wasn’t pretty.  Somewhere in the pile of zombies, there is Ned 2.0

Since Sue is slippery as Josh, she is able to get away and hide in one of the cleared out buildings.  It doesn’t help.  She only has a can of food.  She needs the rice and water also to win.

We had a good time.  At the beginning of the game, Eric said, I need to be out of there by 3:15.  It wasn’t a problem.  He was dead for the second time by 3:00 PM.  He had plenty of time to get to where he needed to go.

Once again, it was fun, even if we died…

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