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Yesterday, we continued our normal Saturday game.  This time it was different though.  Normally, we play at our FLGS, Dice Age Games.


(A little promotion always helps)

But this weekend, Dice Age was running a special tournament for Star Wars X-Wing for charity.  They had no extra tables for our RPG game.  So we went to Danger Noodle’s house.  Now actually, it was actually Collin and Shari’s house, but the house is actually controlled by Danger Noodle, the snake.

Why people have snakes is beyond me.  I have previously gone on (and on and on and on) about people playing what calls them in games.  But I don’t understand snakes.  I don’t like them, I don’t dislike them.  But you see, I have small dogs.  Rocky is only 5 pounds, 2.5 ounces after all.


A 6-ft long danger noodle does not appeal to me, especially if you have small dogs.  Rocky would be a snack.  Ferd would go up and wag his tail at the snake, and wonder why the snake didn’t wag its tail back.  Frida would likely sniff it and walk away.

But to each their own.

So we met at Danger Noodle’s house to play some D&D, continuing on with the epic first level adventure that ended with a long nap from the previous week.

The adventurers learned a lot last week.  First, the first level characters are not very hearty.  They need to rest a lot, to make up for the fact that they have 1 hit die of hit points.  They also need to rest a lot, since they have very limited spell casting abilities.

They learned this week that bad things happen.  When the DM suggests that “you might not want to just jump in and start fighting”, what does the party do? (I am looking at you, Bill).

But to start off correctly, we need to start off where the party began the adventure.  In their safe bunker, the first room of the dungeon, you know, the one that they cleared out last time.

So the party starts out, waking up when a new gnome walks into the room.  Eric is back.  And, the party left no guards.  Lucky for them, the wandering monster roll turned up nothing.  So the gnome fighter / tank came into the party area, and woke them up.  It was time for some action.

The circular room has two doors that they have not investigated.  The rogue goes to the right one, and finds no traps.  Then the rogue goes to the left one and finds no traps.  The monk is impatient, and opens the door on the right.  There is a long hall.  It goes down the way, and ends about 60-ft away with a door, and there is one door on either side.  All the doors are stone.

The party goes forth, and opens the door on the right.  It is an empty room.  There is nothing but some trash and debris in the room.  The cleric is dutifully mapping the dungeon.  No one can believe that there is nothing in this room, so they search all around.  After several people have tromped around in the room they then ask “are there any signs that someone was in here”  I guess that they were hoping that they could find some footprints which may end at a wall, which would indicate that there might be a secret door.  Yup, there are footprints all around this room.  The dust has lots of footprints in it.  None of them seemed to lead into a secret room.


Emboldened by their ongoing success at living, the party then opens the door on the other side of the hall.

Behind this door is a 10-ft or so square room.  It is tight, and inside the room is a rusted steel container with a spigot on the front, and pipes that go from the container all the way into the walls and floor.  The warlock and dwarf barbarian go into the room.  The warlock can’t contain himself.  He needs to pull the spigot.  When he does, steam escapes from the top of the container, and icy water escapes from the bottom…  The steam coalesces into two imp-like creatures.


The icy water comes together into two more imp like creatures.


Now, what should the party do?  Well, before the “party” decides what to do, the warlock lets loose with a spell to attack.  Things don’t go well for them.  The battle was chaotic and nasty.  In the end, the mephits steamed and frosted most of the party.  They were almost all knocked to zero hit points, with a couple of really interesting things happening.

The best was when the dwarf barbarian flew into a rage and swung around at everyone in the room, including knocking the warlock on his as.  Now the steam mephit softened the warlock up, but a battle axe to the gut knocked the warlock down and out.

The steam and ice mephits ended up taking out everyone but the bard and the dwarf barbarian.  Even the monk was overpowered and knocked to zero hit points.  It didn’t help that the mephits, who recharge their breath weapon on a roll of a 6 on a d6 kept rolling 6’s.

The players kept trying to talk to the mephits, but the mephits didn’t understand whatever the players were saying.  In the end, the Bard saved the day.  Through the power of interpretive dance, the bard was able to get through the language barrier, and convince the mephits that they should stop attacking.

You gotta love those natural 20 rolls

The mephits went back to their urn.  The party dragged their near-carcasses back to their safe room, and rested again.  During this long rest, I made all of the characters level up.  This should help.  I figure that after having your ass handed to you a few times in combat, you probably learn some things.  The wandering monster roll resulted in no encounter that night.

So this time, the party decides that they need to go to the left, instead of the right.  After all, the stuff on the right has been particularly nasty.

The warlock decides to detect magic before opening the door.  Now, there is no magic at this particular door, but he does see that the rogue has something magical glowing inside her quiver.  The warlock assumes that this is because the rogue is helping herself to treasure without telling anyone else about it.  “Just like a rogue”, but the warlock doesn’t bother asking.

The party opens up the door, and finds a large room. One wall is collapsed in, and nearby is a large door, that is carved into the stone as the face of a dragon.  The mouth of the dragon has a keyhole.

The warlock says “I got this” and checks for magic.  Yup, the dragon’s mouth (with the keyhole) radiates abjuration magic.  This freaks out the party.  They are convinced that this will be bad.  I don’t know where they are getting this idea from.  It is like they think that the dungeon is trying to kill them or something.

So the cleric starts looking around in the debris in the room for a key.  The cleric finds something.  He finds a giant rat.  The rat bits him, hard.  The rest of the party is doing their best 1980’s band album cover, where all of the members are standing around on the cover, trying to look like they want nothing to do with any of the other people on the cover.


I know that the band members were trying to look edgy without seeming pretentious, but it is really hard for Bono to do anything, even sleep without being overly pretentious.  I mean anyone who gives the Pope a pair of glasses must be pretty full of himself.  I mean Bono is almost Sting level of trite self worship.


But where was I?  Oh yes, the rest of the party starts running over, hoping to get in on the kill of another giant rat.  The dwarf barbarian ends up making a rat shish-kebab with a javelin.

In the end, the party is convinced by the warlock that they should leave this door alone, since the magic on the lock is probably bad.  Now, the “magic” could be something good.  After all, arcane abjuration magic isn’t all bad, is it?


OK. maybe it is.

But the party decided that they didn’t need to open that door so much, given that they had other doors that they could open.  The brave monk decided that this is a pretty good thing to pursue, since the door that they know nothing about in the other passage obviously can’t be as bad as this door that they know is locked and has some abjuration magic on it.

So the party bravely backs up, and goes into the other passage.  As they pass the room that the mephits were in, the warlock detects magic again.  He finds that there are five magical signatures in the room.  Now since he can’t see through the 6-in stone door he is casting through, He doesn’t know what is magical.  The party discusses this, and determines that one or more of the following could be true.

  • There are five magical gems in there
  • There is a momma mephit and a daddy mephit along with three baby mephits
  • It will likely end badly for the party if they go in and try to figure out what is magical in the room
  • Nothing so far has been easy. The mephits hurt.  It is best to leave them alone.

The party chose to go with the last bullet point.

They carefully approach the last door, the one at the end of the hallway.  They walk up to the stone door, and listen.  Rolling a 2, hearing nothing, the rogue starts fiddling with the door, looking for traps.  Finding none, the door is opened.  Inside is a large L shaped room.  The room includes a busted cage, a table with a large cloth draped over it, and a fire pit.  There are five other doors out of the room.  The party hears weeping coming from under the table.

The party finds a bedraggled kobald, named Meepo, who tells them his tale of woe.

Meepo was the kobald clan’s dragon keeper.  He had Calcryx, a white dragon wyrmling that he was responsible for.  Everything was going well until a group of awful goblins came and killed all of the other kobald guards in the room, and stole the wyrmling.  Things went from bad to worse.  The goblins played a cruel trick on Meepo, and allowed him to live, so he could report to the kobald chief his loss of the wyrmling.  Now Meepo has been ostracized from the clan of kobalds.  His only way to get back into the clan is to reclaim the wyrmling from the goblin tribe.

The party examines the cage.  It was a sturdy cage, but was broken apart.  Inside, the gnome fighter / tank finds some white scales.  This is where the bad joke award goes to the party.  I am still not sure who said it, but the bard picked up on the fact that the white dragon scale now allows him to have chromatic scales… get it, a white dragon is a chromatic dragon.  Get it?  huh?  yeah, it wasn’t that good of a joke, but it was the best one that the bard could come up with given the material he had.  I mean after all even Gallagher isn’t funny all the time.

Anyhow, the party decides that they need to help Meepo get the wyrmling back.  They start looking around, and Meepo says that one door goes to the larder, one door goes to the room that the Calcryx will live in when it gets a little older.  One room is where the kobald guards live.  The other two doors go to the rest of the dungeon.

The monk wants to look into the room where he was told that the wyrmling would live when it grows up some.  The monk thought that there would be piles of treasure.  Not so.  The room is empty.  It may be that the goblins took the treasure.

The warlock investigates the fire pit. Inside the fire pit is a bunch of ashes.  There is also a jade figurine of a dragon, which matches the four on the table, and is worth maybe 15 silver pieces.  The warlock now has ashes and soot all over his arms and hands.

The cleric and monk spend time talking with Meepo, trying to get something, anything, useful from this kobald.  The rogue goes over to the door that leads to the room that the kobald guards sleep in.  She finds a thin wire sitting about 2-inches above the ground.  It is tight like a bow string.  Following the wire, it extends all the way up into the top of the door jam.  When they ask Meepo about it, he laughs and says something like “good trap!”

After a short period of unsure activity, the monk comes over and ties a rope around the wire, then plays the rope out, and pulls on it from a ways away.    They hear a twang, followed shortly be a crack and plop sound on the other side of the door.  Opening the door to the guard’s room, they find that the “good trap” was a wire that went up to near the ceiling, which was triggered to push a large crockery full of feces and urine onto the head of an unsuspecting intruder.  The kobalds knew of the trap, and they simply step over the wire.

Inside the room is a pile of feces and urine, broken crockery along with several bed rolls.   There is nothing of value in the room.

The monk will not be stopped.  He goes to the door that is for the larder, and opens it up.  About a dozen giant rats pour out, attacking him.  They bite him hard.  Panic ensues.  Pandemonium happens.   The rats are just trying to get out of the room.  Not wanting to be dragon chow.  The party members kill about half of them as the rats try to flee.

At that point, it was time to end.

There will be no D&D next weekend.  I will be running three sessions of Call of Cthulhu at PDX Age instead.