We met again yesterday to play Dungeon Fantasy. Mike was GM’ing, I got to play, again (!!!!!!) I like playing Dungeon Fantasy. I like playing GURPS. Most importantly, I like playing or GM’ing with this group. They are a lot of fun. The RP is more important than the dice rolling.
We started out with a coworker, Nick coming by, and saying hi. Shari couldn’t place him. He was some dude she recognized. She tried putting on her glasses, taking them of, and kept saying “you look familiar”. Nick was playing along.
Nick is heavy into Pathfinder, and I keep trying to push him into GURPS, Savage Worlds, Call of Cthulhu, Runequest, Dungeon Crawl Classics, maybe even Ponyfinder. So far, he has not followed the siren song of other gaming systems. He and his group are happy with Pathfinder. That is OK, Pathfinder is a lot of fun. I get it. If you are going to spend the equivalent of the gross domestic product of a small African nation on RPG books, just to be able to effectively play one character, you don’t need to spend the equivalent of the gross domestic product of Germany to become fully kitted with the books necessary to play more than one game. And that doesn’t even consider the space needed for the multiple bookshelves just to house the stuff.
All that being said, I will still try to get Nick to come to the dark side, and try something other than Pathfinder.
Bill was playing a druidic dwarf, and bill had no miniature. So Mike tried to provide one for him to use during the game.
Bill objected. I am not sure exactly what Bill was objecting to, but I think he was concerned about how well this miniature would fit in with the tactical methods of the game, knowing that his miniature took up more than one hex. Mike took pity on Bill, and replaced the dwarf with horrible flatulence with a 1970’s cop mini.
I also talked with Jirimiah, and told him that we needed to find ways to ring the bell at the front counter when we were not at the game store.
Jirimiah also said that he doesn’t want to be a part of any social media. I think he is worried that in some way, he will have his soul stolen by social media, similar to how some indigenous people are convinced that a camera steals the soul.
That being said… I found a picture on Facebook that someone posted for another game store. Jirimiah was in the picture.
I am not going to say what person is Jirimiah, as we want to preserve his soul and anonymity, but he is there. Now, that picture was posted on Facebook a couple of months ago. Now it is posted again in a blog. Things are getting out of hand. Next, his picture will be used in a meme…
I am not going to say which person in the photo is Jirimiah, but I am going to say that he is not the person with brown hair wearing a dress.
Sue and Brian were gone from today’s game. Their absence is very important later on.
Mike handed me a note, saying that because I was in the smoky goodness of whatever the rest of the party was doing when we hotboxed in the room during the last session, Argua knew someone in the party was trying to kill me. Now, since Arugua has a 7 int, 1 above sentience, I let Mike make my intuition rolls, and let him tell me that it means.
This has caused some fun confusion for the party. Well, maybe not for the party, but it was fun for me playing Argua. I let Mike roll the 3d6 and then interpret what Argua would determine. Since Argua knew that someone was trying to kill me, I asked Mike to roll an intuition roll, and let me know if I pieced together the “facts” as to who was trying to kill me. Mike rolled the dice, then pointed at Eric, who is playing a cleric… hey, that rhymes… Eric the Cleric…
So Argua knew what sort of horrible individual was trying to kill her. And it made sense, the person was that horrible nunlike cleric who “healed” the party. Argua knew that it must be the cleric, since Argua was wounded in the dungeon earlier, and the cleric healed everyone up but Argua. It didn’t matter that I didn’t ask for healing, and the cleric used up all of his fatigue points healing everyone else. The cleric didn’t help Argua, and that reinforced the idea that the horrible magic using cleric wanted Argua dead. The horrible cleric also probably wanted Mr. Hacksey and the beautiful gold lame leopard print leather armor. This cleric was bad. Argua needed to kill the cleric, soon.
So the party moves out of the room with the flaming skull, and into the poo river. This is a 2 hex wide hallway, that goes for a long distance in both ways, and is filled with raw sewage. Argua sees her chance. The rest of the party moves into the poo river. The dwarf druid makes some concrete overshoes using earth magic, and tries to klomp his way upstream. The ninja master tries to float in the chest that originally held the silver container. The knight boldly goes forward. Only the horrible untrustworthy cleric and Argua are left.
Argua follows the cleric, and “trips” her to fall into the raw sewage river, then falls on top of the cleric, to hold her under for a while. Then Argua stands up, and pulls the cleric out of the raw sewage, and slams her into a wall, snarling a few well placed words like “I know you”
Unfortunately for the cleric, she doesn’t know why Argua is doing this. It makes no sense. After all, what does it mean when a half ogre tries to drown you, then slams you into a wall while snarling “I know you”? Argua senses the cleric’s confusion and determines it is fear, satisfied that she has made her point, and knowing that the cleric is coughing and looking quite ill, Argua drops the cleric back into the water and trudges up the poo river after the rest of the party.
The other party members had found an alcove upstream. The alcove included a nasty metalic spider construct. They were fighting it as best as possible.
As Argua approached the rest of the party, the knight (Collin) said “Do you have the sense of duty disadvantage”, questioning why Argua was picking on the cleric. I asked Mike to make another intuition roll, to determine if the Knight also wanted to kill Argua.
Yes, the knight was in league with the cleric, and wanted to also kill Argua to take Mr. Hacksey and the beautiful gold lame leather armor. This would not do.
Argua grabs the back of the knight’s armor, and hauls him out of the alcove into the poo river and spins him around.
Now the knight continued to show cowardice, after all, he was scheming to kill Argua. The knight said “I don’t know why you are doing this, but I will not fight you” Now, the knight was trying to use intimidation while saying this, but Collin failed his intimidation check, and so it sounded more like a 13 year old with his voice cracking than a sturdy knight commanding. This fit into what Argua belived, that the Knight was a coward and is afraid of being killed by Argua. A non-worthy opponent trying to kill Argua. Argua, enraged, swings Mr. Hacksey at the knight, but the knight parries. Argua roars at the knight, and decides that the knight is not a worthy opponent, since he thinks that standing there waiting to be cut down is a good way to die.
The knight is likely a backstabbing thief, not an honorable knight. Argua will not kill the knight yet, and the knight looks particularly pitiful, cowering in fear, continuing to say “I will not fight you”. The knight is obviously not a worthy opponent.
The ninja mistress and the druid killed off the mechanical spider while the knight was cowering in front of Argua. They then “needed” to rest for some reason. Argua was having none of that. She wanted to continue on. Argua found a badly hidden door, and smashed it down, and entered a long skinny tunnel. The tunnel had pretty swirly lights in the wall. As they swirled, Argua felt very warm and comfy. These pretty lights were really neat. She decided that they would not make a nice necklace, and then she went to the end of the hallway, and opened the door. On the other side of the door was a large room, with a table on the opposite side of the room.
The wall on the left side of the room had a really nice black velvet curtain. The wall on the opposite side of the room had a big hole in it. The wall on the right side of the room had a canvas painting. The room was very tall, and very well lit.
At this point, Argua needed to wait, as the GM decided that the rest of the party needed to be allowed to rest for a half hour. The druid made up some sort of mushroom soup that he fed to everyone. As the party was ready to move on, they entered the long hallway with the pretty swirly lights, and the druid figured out that this was evil magic. Like really nasty bad stuff. The colorful swirly lights in the wall were runes that had been cast in the wall, acting as a ward. Some of the party members were not affected by the runes, some were cooked, and took a bunch of hit points damage and fatigue.
The druid gave Argua a flask with the mushroom stew, and Argua gobbled it all down, licking the flask clean, inside and out. The mushroom stew was to remove the detrimental effects of the hotbox room, and Argua now knew that she had scared the rest of the party into leaving Mr. Hacksey and her beautiful leather armor alone. In metagaming style, we were no longer suffering the ill effects of the curse.
Then something bad happened. The druid mentioned that it was too bad that we were missing the thief, and the half elf wizard – the sexy plaything of Argua.
Argua started thinking with all 1 point of intelligence over sentience. Argua realized that the thief stole her sexy elf plaything. That would not do. Puddin the thief will need to answer for stealing Argua’s prissy spindly sexy half elf. Puddin is going to die. Nobody steals a sexy elf plaything from Argua.
This was made worse, as when Argua made this connection, and vocalized it to the party, the knight said “yeah, that’s it”. This cemented in Argua’s mind that Puddin was a bad thief who stole the elf thing from Argua.
Now, it is possible that the knight said “yeah that’s it” sarcastically, but half ogres don’t get sarcasm. You see, they inherit the anti-sarcasm gene from the ogre side. Never use sarcasm on an ogre or a half ogre. They just don’t get it. And the knight sealed Puddin’s fate.
Puddin,was going to die. The master mapmaker, Argua started sketching out what was going to happen.
Here is what Argua remembers from the hallway with the poo river. Argua is the well developed figure in black, holding Mr. Hacksey. The knight, in purple and the cleric in orange are cowering in fear before Argua. Puddin, represented by Hello Kitty scientist is mixing a potion to steal the sexy elf thing from Argua.
Argua then dreams of ridding the world of the evil Puddin thief. Argua, again with Mr. Hacksey stands over Puddin’s bloody corpse smashing the thieve’s body into little halfling bits, while Puddin’s spirit floats above in heaven thinking about how she shouldn’t have screwed with Argua.
The party finally makes it into the room. The cleric and druid are complaining about how it is really evil and are harshing their buzz. Argua goes right to the black velvet curtain on the left wall and pulls it down to make her a cape.
The knight moves in and a six armed snake thing comes into the room, swinging scimitars all around. The cleric decides that this snake thing is evil, and must be vanquished. The cowardly knight things it may be better to leave.
The knight decides to attack the snake beast front on so that the rest of the party can scurry away. Argua looks fabulous with her new black velvet cape.
The snake thing attacks, and attacks, and attacks, and attacks, and attacks, and attacks. The snake thing gets six attacks with scimitars per round. That is pretty nasty.
The ninja mistress drops to the ground and apparently takes a nap. Argua is not sure what is going on, but Shari keeps saying that she is medicating, or something like that. The cleric and druid complain about how evil the room is, and run across the room to the hallway that is behind where Argua took the velvet curtain from.
Argua saunters over to where she can use her heavy sling on the beast. And the fight continues. The knight tries to hit the snake thing, and mostly misses. The dodge on the snake thing is pretty good.
Argua scores a couple of hits on the snake thing with the sling, doing pretty significant damage, but the snake thing keeps healing up.
Then the medicated ninja mistress jumps up and grapples the snake thing. She successfully grapples the snake. The snake doesn’t manage to break the grapple. The knight chops at the snake thing, cutting off one of its arms.
Argua hurls another rock at the snake thing. It hits, and the snake thing attempts to dodge, and gets a critical success. Argua rolls to see if she hits the ninja mistress instead, and does. The ninja mistress takes 4d6+1 damage, which knocks her below 0 hit points, but she makes the health roll, which allows her to maintain the grapple.
From Argua’s perspective, this is good. The ninja mistress knows now to never cross Argua. Argua will hurt anyone who crosses her.
The ninja mistress wants to push the snake thing over to the table, which everyone is calling a sacrificial altar. Argua is confused. It is a large stone table, with blood all over it. It looks like the dinner table that Argua ate at every day of her life growing up with her ogre mother. For some reason, these “civilized” people associated blood on the table with sacrifice instead of Sunday evening family meals. Being a barbarian in a “civilized” world is so confusing.
The ninja mistress doesn’t make her health roll, and since she is below 0 hit points, she falls unconscious. Once again, Argua likes this outcome, as she has shown a friend what will happen if that friend crosses her, even when that friend does all sorts of flippy bouncy jumpy stuff.
More importantly, the knight, druid and cleric also saw this. They should be cowed by Argua’s ability to bash others into unconsciousness.
The cowardly knight then tries to push the six armed snake lady into the stone sacrifical table, yelling at Argua to hack her to bits. Argua hasn’t figured out that the arms don’t heal back, but the body damage does. Now the snake lady only has five arms, and five attacks.
Argua starts hacking with Mr. Hackesy, and does massive damage to the snake lady’s body. But she keeps healing.
At this point, the GM, Mike starts some sort of strange ritual. He writes the name “Ernest Hemmingway” on a scrap of paper, the name has a cloud around it, and Mike starts showing it to all of us.
I say “What? The Old Man And The Sea? Do we need to get a big tuna to feed her?” Now Mike wants us to clue into another book by Ernie, and that is “Farewell to Arms”. I get it, but Argua would never get it. I allow Mike to make intuition rolls to see if Argua would figure out to cut off arms, vs, hitting her for 4d+3 damage from Mr. Hacksey. Nope, not yet.
The battle continues. The druid and the cleric are so affected by the negative evil energy in the room that they are having problems even conjuring up spells. The druid keeps failing at lightening bolts. The cleric is trying to do something, anything, but is at massive disadvantage because of the negative energy. The druid is able to hit the evil beast with some lightening, but it really doesn’t seem to affect the (now) five armed snake lady.
Argua and the knight keep hacking away at the snake lady. She loses a couple of arms, and then has something happen that shocks her, and she loses all ability to fight back, unless she makes a int roll at -4.
We hack her to bits. It isn’t pretty, but eventually, there is nothing left but little pieces of goo.
I am not sure who does it, but someone pulls the canvas back, and finds another chamber, this one is full of zombies.
It is at this point that Argua realizes the true depth of depravity of Puddn’s horrible acts. She stole the sexy elf thing to make the elf into a zombie. Yes. This is bad. Puddin is beyond evil and nasty.
Argua and the knight decide that they are going to square off against the zombies. Then the druid comes into the room and fills the passage entrance into the room with an earth wall. The druid is no fun. We had lots of zombies to kill, and the druid just shut them out.
The druid said they needed to “rest” again.
Now, the cleric once again showed her indifference to the party. Argua took a hit from the snake lady, and dropped 16 of her 26 hit points. Did the cleric offer to heal Argua? No. The cleric said something like “I am really tired, I need to rest”
The cleric may still have it out for Argua.