So it has been a tremendous week. The best week. A tremendously best week. The best week every. The biggliest tremendous best week. A week of biggly proportions.
Not really. It has just been another week of our President leading this country… somewhere. Probably somewhere where Nazis and KKK members are treated with respect, and love by the highest elected official of the USA. Biggly.
Now, I am probably going to rant a while about Nazis, the KKK and other inbred fucking
clowns… No, clowns isn’t the right word, as that insults the graduates of the Clown College.
and while the class of 1987 Ringling Brothers Clown College have gone forth and caused fear and anxiety in many children and adults, the inbred fucknuggets who are KKK, white supremacists and Nazis do not deserve the term clown.
Let me be very clear here. If I say something that offends you in this post, fuck you. If you think that Nazis and the KKK and White Power are a good thing, please take the time to be insulted. I don’t care if you disagree with me on this. No, I do care if you disagree with me on this. If you think that the KKK and Nazis belong in this country, you are a monstrosity and do not belong breathing the same air that I do.
In case that is not clear enough. I believe that racist inclinations that manifest themselves into hatred and violence are the result of lack of intelligence, empathy and general human values. So I will make it clear.
- If you believe in the KKK. Fuck you.
- If you believe in the Nazi movement. Fuck you
- If you believe in White Power. Fuck you.
Now, I have read that certain people, including the President of the United States have problems with too many words. So I will summarize.
- If you believe in the:
- White Power
- Fuck You
You see what I did there? I removed a bunch of words to make it shorter and more to the point.
Now, let’s say that you disagree with me on these points, or possibly are insulted. Fuck you. Well, that is assuming that you have the intelligence to do something other than read Nazi propaganda.
Now, I am blurring the line here. I do understand that the Nazi movement is distinct from the KKK, and all of those are specifically part or not part of the greater White Power movement. It really doesn’t matter. The same inbred shit that resides in their skulls basically believes the same shit.
Take for instance, the American Nazi’ Party. I looked this crap up on the Internet, so you would not have to.
Even if you dislike the Nazi’s, you should read this, because it states what their goals are. This is sick shit.
As far at the Aryan Community, they say:
We believe that a true community can function successfully only as a unified, organic whole in which all members of society join together in a great common cause and in turn are accorded personal respect as well as equality of opportunity. We also believe that every honest, hardworking citizen deserves to live decently, with full protection against all foreseeable material disasters beyond his control. Finally, we believe than an enlightened community must make the health and well-being of all its members a matter of prior concern, and that anything which interferes with the smooth and harmonious functioning of society must be ruthlessly suppressed – whether it be poverty, social injustice, class warfare, crime, sexual perversion, drug peddling, or any form of antisocial activity.
They then go on and talk about their “culture and science”
We believe that the highest freedom is the freedom of the Aryan soul to express and manifest itself without interference through works of creative genius. Toward this end, we believe that the whole community must lend its enthusiastic and unstinting support. We also believe that the State bears a special responsibility to protect the racial soul from the harmful effects of distorting alien influences – in art, literature, music, drama, entertainment, education, and scientific inquiry – and to establish those standards by which true Aryan character and ideals can be reflected, and the questing spirit of our race expressed. We must encourage and promote every form of genuine White cultural endeavor and we must instill in our youth the appreciation for beauty and order that characterize a genuine White man’s culture. We must awaken a new understanding of our racial and cultural heritage, so that the creative instincts of our people can once again find expression in a direction which will continually renew and enrich that heritage instead of degrading and debasing it.
Just knowing that they want to remove “alien influences” such as rap makes me need to post this as a “fuck you” to the Nazi’s.
Now, in all fairness, I don’t care for a lot of rap music either. But then, I realize that rap music isn’t for me. It is intended for other audiences, similar to polka, opera and Enya. I mean if we wanted to prohibit music that sucked because it was horrible to the culture, we should start with most, if not all of the songs that Sting has forced on us in his solo career.
And if this diddy doesn’t make you convulse, nothing will. Be thankful that I didn’t find an easy link to the dreaming of blue turtles shit. Sting has an ego pretty much the same size as Bono, whose ego is only surpassed in the entertainment industry by The Donald.
Then there is “what the hell is this new shit” from Grace Slick and company. Really? If you want to get rid of shit that destroys our society, why start with rap music? You should be trying to burn all copies of this horrific shitpile.
I mean, talk about undercutting the entire nation with pap and mayonnaise. How did Grace Slick go from White Rabbit to this?
Then there is what the American Nazi Party says about “white self defense”.
We must have an America in which White men and women can live and work, in their homes and in the streets of our cities, without fear. We must have a government which is not only a guarantor of public order and safety and which preserves the right of White citizens to keep and to bear arms, which is the ancient hallmark of a truly free people, but we must have government which maintains an eternal vigilance against the enemies, both internal and external, of a White America. Every tendency towards degeneracy and subversion, every threat to our racial integrity, every form of organized crime and vice, every element which threatens public terror or chaos must be weeded out and utterly destroyed.
Now if that doesn’t curl your toes and make you angry, nothing will.
It would be easy to laugh at the comedy value of the American Nazi Party, but they are real.
The KKK has an online manifesto that is much more polished than the American Nazi Party. Part of it says:
As we state many times, We are not a hate group! We have been betrayed by the politicians – namely the Republican and Democratic parties. Of course those who engage in or support interracial or homosexual relationships aren’t being oppressed, but those who do – whether black or white – ARE being oppressed. We believe as shown by the writings of our forefathers that America was founded by white Christians for white Christians. This was their intent and was also proven by the laws of the United States for over two hundred years.
1. Black people had to post a bond usually for about $5,000 (a lot of money back then) in the Northern states to even live there. And in many counties of the North they weren’t even allowed to be there unless in travel.
2. Non whites were not allowed to vote – voting privileges for non-whites weren’t even considered during the founding of America.
3. A person had to profess a belief in Jesus Christ and the 10 Commandments to even hold any type of public office – from sheriff to President – to governor.
4. Interracial marriage was illegal
5. Homosexuality was illegal
It’s evident to any one with common sense that America was founded as a white Christian nation. This doesn’t mean we support the oppression of non-whites. It doesn’t mean we want to scare or hurt non-whites. It means simply that America was to be governed according to the tenets of Christianity. This would be a benefit to all who lived within her boundaries whether a white citizen or a non white resident.
Yes, if you look at a picture of the House or Senate either nationally or in a particular state, usually the majority of members are white. They are the people who have betrayed us. They are pawns of the special interest groups. They care more about the people of Mexico than the people of the United States. They care more about the rights of a sodomizer than a white Christian child. They care more about pleasing the giant corporations of the world than middle class Americans and their businesses. They care more about not offending homosexuals and integrationists than they do our elderly people. The politicians of today are the messed up kids of the 60’s. They came from the homosexual, race mixing, Communist, anti-law and order, revolution. Some may claim the Republicans aren’t that bad, but not one single Republican leader would proclaim their opposition to race mixing. Some might even seem like good church going people, but they would still refuse to make a stand against the horrible plague of race mixing. There just aren’t any Republicans or Democrats who have their act together. They might be white, but they have betrayed their own people and are traitors. They can’t support the anti-white and anti-Christian special interest groups and be a patriot, too.
The diatribes by these groups are a tough read for me. They make me angry. They make me very sad and upset. But, it is something which we should all be aware of, knowing that there are people out there who are sympathetic to this type of crap.
I mean look at these shitheads.
They look like they are trying to be all scary and stuff. Maybe they ran out of sheets, and needed to get some sweet satin draperies to complete their outfit. I don’t know. They just look like a bunch of people who don’t believe in what I believe in, and should be mocked mercilessly.
Then there are these guys.
They look like a bunch of fucking moron lawn gnomes who need a severely palsied nurse to administer an enema to them using a blunt rubber hose.
But then, I would hope that the palsied nurse applying the enema to these lawn gnomes would not be using water, preferably something that would inflame their Nazi rectums.
But they may be morons, but look at who is in the bottom right portion of the picture below.
Yes, there is a confederate flag, and several of the signs state “the white majority STANDS WITH TRUMP”.
In fact, if you look closely as The Donald is signing one red hat with a sharpie, immediately in front of him is one of the white majority signs. Should we read anything into this? Maybe during the campaign, we could have dismissed it. But given President Trump’s recent inability to distance himself from the Nazis, white supremacists and KKK, I am saying there is something to read into this. The Donald, THE PRESIDENT of the United States may not be an overt racists, but he is willing to align himself with them – at least when it is convenient, and when they praise him, at best, he is unable to shift his ego to denounce the words of evil people.
So what does this have to do with GURPS? Nothing.
You might say “Rob, you are being very unbalanced in your discussion here, I mean, it sounds like all you want to do is vilify some portion of the population who are only standing up for their Constitutional rights.” Well, you are right. This is a blog. As such, it is not expected to be balanced. I am not a reporter. I am a human being who is deeply bothered, even horrified, that for some reason, these hate groups are feel that they can come out of the cesspool that they reside in and show themselves. I believe that the current President is creating a situation where these hateful people are emboldened and feel that they have some form of protection and blessing from the White House.
This worries me.
It should worry you also.
If I have written something here which offends you, too bad. It is not that I don’t care, but I really believe that if for any reason you agree with the Nazi’s, KKK or white supremacy, then there is something fundamentally wrong with you.
You can disagree with how the federal and state government are approaching taxes, health care, road construction, etc. We don’t have to agree on a political party or even whether we like a particular person who has been elected or appointed to office. That is an American right. The point where we start aligning our thoughts with a group like the KKK, Nazi party or such is where I will vehemently disagree with you. I will be perfectly happy to call you out in public.
Please, please, please don’t hide your affiliation. If you believe something, you should let people know. If you are a white supremacist, then wear it on your sleeve. If you believe that <insert group here> people should be <insert punishment here>, let people know. Be vocal. Then you can find out how many true friends you have, and whether or not the people around you will isolate you for your horrible thoughts.
And don’t be unhappy if people take exception to your belief system.
I have made it clear about how I feel about people feeling superior to others, and believing that they should be treated poorly, or differently. I am wearing that on my sleeve. There is no question about how I feel about this.
OK. I have that off my chest. For a while anyway.
So you may ask yourself… “Rob, where do you get your diatribes from, after all, we came here to read about your gaming, and instead, we read about marshmallows, nazi’s, build-a-bear spock dolls..”
I really don’t have an answer. It is probably something like this.
I am not sure why I can associate with this, but it works.
I spend the week working as a manager. As such, I have to focus on keeping people happy, finding solutions that are the best possible given the conditions, and most of all, keeping my smart ass self contained. I like to address things through humor, and find that I need to keep myself in check for the 45 to 50 hours a week that I work. Outside of that, I need to have a vent. My wife, kids, and dogs are a good audience. However, they hear it all the time. Gaming is my favorite way to be myself.
Gaming is really a foil for me to enjoy friends company. The Thursday game night is a different crowd than the Saturday game. Eric is in both groups, but other than Eric, the entire group is different.
The Thursday group is more serious, and wants to progress the story. The Saturday group is more open to sitting around and chatting. When I was running games on Thursday night, I found that people wanted to chat, but it appeared that some of the players wanted to play more than sit and chat. So I let Daron run the Thursday game. Daron wants to keep the story moving.
Saturday games are more open and we tend to make nuisances of our selves at the game store.
I love bringing Jirimiah into any game I can, even if it is just to get him to come over and threaten us with bodily harm. Jirimiah seems to almost want to put up with us. I ring the bell lots for him. I make sure that he is sitting down and involved in something before I buy something, just so I can ring the bell loudly and repeatedly. I also help out by explaining to other customers that Jirirmiah has some hearing loss, and so he needs to have multiple rings to get his attention, and keep his attention focused on the front counter. Sometimes, I even wait until another customer is at the front counter, and Jirimiah is at the front counter also, and I go up and ring the bell loudly and repeatedly.
Jirimiah responds lovingly to me by saying things like “you are going to die”, and “why?” and other things like that. Jirimiah doesn’t threaten my life in a loud angry voice, instead he uses the same kind of voice that Khan Noonien Sing uses to address Captain Kirk.
I know that Jirimiah is responding lovingly at me, since Molly, my wife gives me the same look and response regularly.
We also try to get Jirimiah into our conversations. He may be sitting across the store from us, but we all start catcalling like a pack of howler monkeys at him until he responds with a smile and wave of his hand.
Jirimiah asked me this weekend… “why do I end up in your blog?” Well it is simple. When you are an epic character, you need to be featured somewhere. My blog includes the occasional guest representation of a larger than life hero, Jirimiah. Now, that is not truly meant as a tongue in cheek answer. Jirimiah is awesome. He has a great sense of humor, and isn’t shy about anything. Also, very little, if nothing at all, is off limits for him. Hence, the epic character thing. I kind of think of Jirimiah as our personal Bruce Campbell. He has a presence that is awesome to be around. I just hope that we get some sort of response like “Give me some sugar, baby” or maybe even a “This is my BOOMSTICK!”
So what did happen on Saturday? Well, it was pretty simple. The goblins ended up getting all captured, and forced into a clean room. Now what should have taken a short period of time in game, actually took an extended period of time in game.
The gaming session started out with people admiring Mike’s new mini.
After all, the goblin did have a dog grafted onto his arm. This was a really nice way to show his character.
Then of course, there was the highly questionable interaction between Mike’s Necronomicon and poor Scrotus.
If you look carefully at Eric, he has a GoPro camera on the blue box, next to the diet Mountain Dew can. There are a couple of important things going on here, besides the abusing of Scrotus…. of which will be discussed later… But Eric wanted to bring his GoPro camera to record some of the hijinks that the group does. He started out by hiding it on a stand / shelf with games, hoping it would remain unnoticed. No such luck. Immediately upon entry, Collin saw the camera, and was wary. Eric then spent most of the rest of the session pretending that the camera was “off”, or that it “had run out of batteries”. I am pretty sure that Eric got some really good video even though it was “off” or had “run out of batteries.”
Now Eric was so distracted in his glee at using his GoPro at the session, he didn’t realize that he bought a diet Mountain Dew instead of the normal sugar filled one. He drank the entire can before someone pointed it out to him.
The session started with all the goblins in a cage, except for Sue and Eric. The rest of the goblins were happy in a cage. The cage included cat food kibbles, a small sand box, a soft blanket and a water bowl. The room was warm, and slightly humid. It was pretty darned comfortable. The goblin party did realize that there were lots of cages with goblins inside, and the other goblins appeared to be listless and sleepy.
Mike was pretty happy. He had food, and all of his basic needs taken care of.
Sheri was not happy. A bored goblin is not a happy goblin. She proceeded to slurp the water into her mouth, then spit it into the sand box, to create a mud like mixture that she could mold into things in her small cage. The sand box kept refilling, the water kept refilling.
Bill was not happy. Once again, bored goblins… So he started working sand into the mechanism of the self screening sand box in his cage. He almost lost a couple of fingers, but he was bound and determined that he was going to break the sandbox.
Collin was distracted by the GoPro camera, and was not sure what he should do. What if someone he knew could link him to this group of gamers? Sue repeatedly used her Iphone to gather more video of Mike and Collin. For future reference, if you want to accomplish anything that is actually useful in a group, do not have Collin and Mike sit next to each other at a table. There appears to be a symbiotic relationship similar to Newton’s Law of gravity.
Where instead of the Force due to gravity, being proportional to the sum of the mass of the two objects divided by the distance squared… the silliness quotient is related to the sum of Mike and Collin divided by the square of the distance. It doesn’t seem to matter if they are on the other side of the table from each other, they still work off each other, but putting them close to each other appears to almost create a runaway chain reaction. I am not complaining… It is quite entertaining.
So Collin and Mike tried very hard to fight against the distance between them, given the GoPro camera, and Sue’s Iphone. In the end, they lost the struggle, and didn’t seem to care that they were being filmed.
Sue and Eric went over to the stone buildings. The stone buildings were smooth and clearly crafted by advanced species. While they were looking at the stone, four monsters popped out and attacked. The monsters were tall, humanlike, with pale skin and they were holding sticks, that had an X in front, with four heavy weights on them, with a mesh connecting the four heavy weights. The monsters pointed the sticks directly at the goblins. This was odd, since most of the time when you attacked with a stick, you would whack someone, or stick them like a spear. These monsters were cradling the sticks. In quick succession, the monsters with the sticks shot the nets with weights at the goblins. One grabbed Eric, who was immediately wrapped up in a sticky net. The other two missed Sue. They reloaded, and shot again, this time hitting Sue, capturing her.
The monsters pulled the nets along the ground and brought the goblins into a stone building. Soon the monsters had pulled the goblins into the same room as the rest of the goblins.
It was at this point where Brian decided to try to mass sleep the monsters. After all, it worked so well the other times that Brian tried to do this. One monster went down, the rest of the monsters got pointy sticks and jabbed them through the grates on the cage door and shocked Brian. His teeth chattered, his skin felt like it was on fire. He relieved his bowels and bladder. It was all very entertaining for the humans, who were cheering on the process. Apparently, monsters enjoy electrocuting the goblins… a lot.
After that bit of fun, the monsters came back to the two goblins who were lying in the sticky net. Two monsters stood over them with the stun sticks. The other two went somewhere else for a while, out of sight. The stun sticks were close to the goblins. Simultaneously, two bound goblins did something very similar. Eric used his mage hand to force one monster to stun the other human, while Sue used her mind power to do the same. Whatever happened, the monsters started fighting among themselves, and Shari took credit.
Both Eric and Sue missed their perception roll, and found that they were stuck by a monster with a large stinging object which pumped liquid into their arms. Things went dark.
All the goblins were now in a cage. Whew. Part one of this railroad to get the party to the next area of the adventure is over.
Did the party make it easy to continue on? Nope.
So the monsters decide that it is time to move the goblins to another area. This is part of the eradication of the goblins from their village.
One by one, the cages with the goblins in the party are moved onto a cart and wheeled to another room by four of the monsters. One by one, the goblin cages are attached to a strange looking stoop / shelf, and the cages are tipped over, and the door opened, dumping the goblins out into a chute, like a laundry chute.
Most of the goblins fall harmlessly into a 30-ft by 10-ft by 10-ft room. Some have to fight it. Sue was the only successful one, as she turned incorporeal, and slipped back into the room, behind the monsters. She then tried to “filch” something from one of the monsters.
Now it is important to note that Mike was pretty happy about explaining that he and Sue had worked out this “filching” thing.
This is where the howler monkey thing comes back… again. I respond to Mike… “at least it wasn’t felching”
Mike looks at me… not understanding, and says “The skill is filching”. I responded “yeah, at least the skill isn’t felching”, or something like that. I don’t know what actually happened, because over the next half hour or so, Mike looked up “felching” in the urban dictionary and said “uhhh that is not what we have as a skill” Sue then responded realizing that “felching” was very different than “filching”, with the rest of the howler monkeys at the table (myself included) hooting and hollering in general amusement clearly representing the decay of values in western society.”
We literally derailed for an extended period of time about felching. We were all laughing and carrying on like a bunch of pre adolescent kids who were listening to George Carlin records in the 1970’s. You know, when George Carlin said “shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker and tits”, and we wore that section of the record out by picking up the needle on the record player and played it over and over and over. Then we changed the speed of the record to 45 RPM to hear them like a chipmunk would say… then put our fingers on the side of the turntable to get it to sloooooowwwwwww dooowwwwwnnn and sound really funny? Everyone was having a great time, saying Felch, felch, felch felching felch felcher felchist… well, not everyone. Bill was hiding his face in shame as everyone else at the table were carrying on. Somehow, Bill realized that while being the youngest person at the table, he was indeed the most mature. Young age is wasted on youth.
So after a long, long period of time where we were having a great time laughing and carrying on (while the other serious wargamers were staring at us, trying to figure out why the booze had been allowed in the store before 5 PM). I mean, there are some serious wargamers who show up. They huddle over in a corner moving their Warhammer and 40K minis around, and try to read the codexes while we are carrying on. I almost feel sorry for them. They are so damn serious, and we are carrying on like bunch of newly minted pledges at a drunken frat party, desperate to top each other’s last comment while hoping it will ingratiate us to the leadership.
Eventually, the monsters use sleeping gas on Sue, and then push her down the chute.
Once all of the monsters are down the chute, in the immaculately clean when all of the goblins are inside this amazingly clean room, the walls sprout spinning disks that start spraying out hot water that includes soap. Soon, there is a terrifying pots and pans cycle going on in this large room.
Mike’s goblin faints in terror. Everything smells like a combination of pine and lemon. It is truly horrific.
Brian decides to conjure up some earth, then form it into a protective wall and ceiling, then turned the earth into stone to protect him. But not the others. Nice guy.
After thirty minutes of alternating hot soapy water and hot clean water being sprayed on the goblins from all directions, the goblins are clean in a way that is beyond unnatural. They smell lemony / piney. It is awful.
The party notices that the room is getting smaller, the length of the room is going from 30-ft to 29-ft, to 28-ft etc. This kind of unnerves the goblins, and they decide that they need to get on top of the stone box that Brian made.
Brian then decided to poop in the corner of his stone box, unbeknownst to the other goblins. The room got larger and wash cycle started again, which included a new twist, just for Brian. Several tubes pushed through the bottom of his stone box and started the wash cycle inside the stone box. It was horrific. There was no place to go.
Then after another half hour, the wash cycle stopped, and the room started getting shorter again. Then Shari, who decided being clean was not a good thing. She threw some poo, and immediately upon throwing poo, the room grew back to the 30-ft length and entire wash cycle started again, with another 30 minute pots and pans cycle.
When this was done, some of the characters found that they could walk through the formerly solid wall at one end of the building. They found themselves in another completely clean room, but as they stepped through the wall, it turned solid behind them again, not allowing them to return to the wash cycle room.
Then Shari wanted to show Brian how to get out, so… you guessed it… took some poo and started writing an arrow pointing towards the wall to escape from. Not to be outdone, as the poo was formed into an arrow, the wash cycle started again. Brian shaped his stone to get out of the internal prison he created, and everyone in the washer got clean… again.
This time, Shari and the rest of the goblins decided to exit from the door instead of using poo as an art form. They walked through the door / wall and ended up in the same large room that the other goblins found.
The room was about 30-ft by 20-ft by 10-ft high. There were no visible doors. On two walls were a series of beds with clean sheets and blankets. On top of each bed, on the blankets was a soft terry cloth towel.
It didn’t take long for things to go out of control. I am not sure exactly what happened in what order, as the end result was pretty much all the same.
At one point, Sue started her mattress on fire. Two large monster robots came out of the wall and extinguished the fire. One robot shredded her mattress and consumed each part of the mattress, while the other grabbed her with three of the flexible arms and the fourth proceeded to take out a large cotton buffing wheel, and at a high rate of rotation, proceeded to exfoliate Sue and remove all of her hair, even her eyebrows and the hair inside her nose… All of her hair. Her clothes were shredded.
Upon completion of the ritual, the robot produced a new terry cloth robe, and Sue, now completely hairless, and with her entire body a nice shade of exfoliated lime green, was allowed to go back to her now mattressless bunk. She was sore everywhere.
The robots proceeded to sweep and vacuum up all of the hair, strips of clothing and exfoliated skin, and put it into their chests, where there was a brief puff of smoke and some bright light of a fire, and then nothing. The robots then went towards a wall, and melted back into the wall that they originally came out of.
Over the next few minutes, the other goblins got the same deal. Shari played with poo. There was some spitting… There were other things done which are probably best not talked about in polite company
At one point, Brian decided to test the robot monsters, by creating a stone wall in the area where the monsters would have to go through to go back into the wall they melted out of. The monsters were unimpressed with the stone wall, and took out a rotating probe that quickly demolished his stone wall. There was something odd. All of the 2 cubic yards of stone went into the monsters, but they were nowhere large enough to store that much stone.
I don’t remember what Brian did to deserve it, but he needed two cleanings. The second cleaning wasn’t as nice as the first one. The robots used wire brushes instead of buffing wheels. The robots also held him with two of the pincers on the flexible arms on his shoulders, and a third with the “you don’t want to know what this is for” probe strategically placed, inserted into a specific orifice of his body to allow easy manipulation and rotation as he was thoroughly cleaned with the wire brushes.
The party was allowed to rest at this location for an undisclosed amount of time until they were at full health.
And with that, we stop for this week.